The Sure Strength of a Domestic Violence Victim

** Silent Ministries Recovery Outreach just received a plea for help from a young woman seeking assistance in separating herself from her abusive husband. I am sharing her story with all of you. This is in her exact words... (some of the details has been blanked out due to protective reasons.) **

I just turned 26, this month. I do not have children. We were seeing a fertility specialist at my husband's insistence. I had reservations, but as I felt that I couldn't divorce him I felt that had no choice, but to move on with my life.

We met 6 years ago in a small college. He is from XXXXXX. He kissed me three days after he met me. We would have been married five years in June.

It was a very rapid romance. My parents didn't approve. They were worried about the cultural differences. He told me that there weren't that many. Which I found out was DEFINITELY NOT TRUE when we went to visit his family in XXXXX about X years after we were married. We married JUST months after we met.

I vividly remember the first time he slapped me in the face. We were on our way to Blockbuster and I remembered I didn't have my card, so I went up to the apartment to find it. I couldn't find it, so after a few minutes he came up to see what was taking me so long. I told him that I couldn't find the card and he started yelling at me calling me "stupid" and irresponsible."

We were yelling back and forth and we moved from the hallway into the bedroom. He was in my face screaming and backed me up until I fell back on the bed and then he leaned down and slapped me in the face. My hand immediately went to my cheek and I started crying and saying over and over again, "You slapped me in the face, you actually hit me".

I told him to leave because I needed to think. He cam back before the allotted time and begged for forgiveness and said it would never happen again. Foolishly I believed him.

Over the next three years it grew increasingly worse. He pushed me down and I almost hit my head on the toilet. He slammed me into walls. He held me down on the bed by the throat and then there is last incident which was Thursday...

We had been fighting a lot about a week before that. Over his facebook page. He asked me why I was being so distant. I told him I wasn't, but he insisted I tell him. I told him I want to go to a real counselor, not just our pastor. Someone who could help him deal with his issues. our issues. He got very angry. I told him very calmly that if he wasn't willing to get help then I was finished and was going to leave.

I took off my rings and laid them on his night stand and walked into the closet to get a bag. He came into the closet and grabbed my arms and spun me around. He said, "You're going to leave, huh?" and propelled me across the room and threw me across the bed. He leaned on top of and held me down with one hand and the other he made a fist and raised it back as if to punch me. I started to cry and said, " STOP!!;" and he mocked my fear by imitating me. I said, " If you don't stop I will call the police." He let me up and he said, "Your not leaving, this is your home. I am the one who is going to leave."

I didn't answer him. I grabbed my cell phone, threw my clothes on, grabbed my jacket and left. I called my mom and dad and they came and got me.

Please forgive me for writing such a long email, it has been a long journey.

It has been good for me to narrate this. Even though it has been painful, it has helped me to strenghten my resolve not to go back.

I think it's great you volunteer to help women like me get help.

** I think that this young lady makes a couple of very good points. I would like to take a moment to reiterate those points. #1- They almost always start minor, beg for forgiveness and vow not to do it again. #2- It almost always grows progressively worse over time. #3- They will continue to do it if they do not get help, and some do not get better even with help #4- Telling your survival story may make you feel stupid, it might hurt, but it is healing and it will help you obtain the strength to keep FAR AWAY from the situation.

Please, feel free to share your story with us. We are hear to listen, we are here to help.

SMRO will be assisting this young lady with drafting and filing a protection order, drafting and filing divorce papers with the court, obtaining a new cell phone and taking the baby steps needed to heal and find confidence and courage once again.

Please pray for her and the other Domestic Violence victims as we begin this long journey with her. God Bless!